We quit social media, we found our way, our sons will too !

We quit social media, we found our way, our sons will too - By Swati Prasad

MET 21-YEAR-OLD Rohan (name changed) at my younger son's rock school recently. He had just completed college and stepped into the burgeoning gig economy-Juggling writing assignmerits and performing at events with his bandmates. He explained how musicians today release albums on Spotify, becoming overnight sensations if their song "blows up".

A little later, my son's guitar teacher asked for my Instagram handle. Since my younger one isn't on Instagram, he wanted our accounts to tag his performance at the upcoming ensemble. As neither my husband nor I are on the platform, Ishared my sister's handle the same one the school has used over the past eight ensembles that my now 15-year-old son has taken part in.

My husband and I quit Facebook in 2014, when the boys were still under 10. Since then, as self-employed professionals, our so cial media presence has largely been limited to Linkedin and WhatsApp to keep track of what's happening in our fields.

Our sons have grown up to be their own people, perhaps quite different from their peers. The older one loves growing vegetables. frequentinggaushalts and national parks, volunteeringatanimal rescue centres and caring for indie dogs on his university campus. The younger one is more obsessed with football and music.

They are digital natives, of course. They follow a few You-Tubers and sometimes play games on their mobile phones. Like their peers, they are savvy with Gen Z lingo, memes and trends. But they have never opened Instagram, Snapchat or Facebook accounts. The younger one faced some peer pressure three years ago but doesn't feel the need anymore, because he occasionally gets a glimpse of what his peer group is doing through his friends' Instagram account.

Interestingly, both have struggled with their peers. They com-plain that many classmates don't wake up on time, follow in-fluencers like Andrew Tate and watch content that unsettles them. Each of them manages these social dynamics in his own way-one more diplomatic, the other more direct.

Recently, a friend suggested that my sons should be on Lin-kedIn. The younger one could share videos of his musical per-formances, but he said he was not interested in "flexing". The older one could document his internships, research, and volun-teer work- useful for jobs and, later, for postgraduate applica tions. I agreed. Because I follow his professors and the university on LinkedIn, I sometimes see how his classmates are polishing their profiles about volunteer activities. When I showed him a classmate's enthusiastic post, he shrugged and said volunteering was a "fancy word" for moving boxes around at the event.

Meanwhile, the older one's best friend is in town for winter break and he seems to know far more about what's going on in Delhi than we do, thanks to Instagram. After talking to him and Rohan, I realised just how much social media exposes young people to worlds we barely understand.

This made me wonder: Have I been fair to my sons? Perhaps they never felt the pull because their parents weren't scrolling endlessly. Maybe if they'd seen us on these platforms, they would have grown curious and opened accounts as teenagers. They're awkward with selfies and I often catch them exchanging looks of quiet disdain at people filming reels in public.

After staying away from social media for over a decade, 1 had, of late, begun nudging the older one to open a LinkedIn account. No one looks at CVs these days, I was told. But he showed no interest, "Fine, I'll do it if you really want me to," he said. "No," I replied. "Don't open it because I'm telling you to Open one if you actually feel like it." In that moment, I realised -this isn't about the "need" to be on social media. It's about the comfort of not being on it. And I need to be comfortable with that.

Curating a digital self is not everyone's cup of tea. Univer-sities and employers must know that. When we deleted our Facebook accounts, we didn't know that 11 years later, Australia would ban social media for children under 16, and New York would mandate prominent mental health warnings on social media platforms. We were just choosing a different path. These little decisions made us what we are today. We found our way; my sons will too.

The writer is a freelance journalist based in New Delhi (How to Raise a Boy is a fortnightly column

How to Raise a boy by Swati Prasad

Indian Express "Opinion" 

January 4, 2026

~Ksxkk